The Health Gamble

Sooo... that time of year that all foreign-hire staff dread is approaching. Decision Time. Re-sign the contract time. Have a little panic over where your life is going time. Have a massive anxiety event over health-insurance time.

Wait...I think that last one is just me.

Here is the dilemma: I want out of here. For a number of reasons that I don't feel up to detailing right now, I want out. For the record, none of them relate directly to my job, and if I could pick the school up and transfer it to somewhere else, I would do so. Of course reality rained on that little parade, so I must come up with a different plan.

So, just go! Right? Easy.

Except that it isn't, really. Never mind the student loans I'm still paying off and the fact that it's practically impossible to find a teaching job in Canada; while those things scare me to death, they are reasonable risks that I am hesitant but ultimately willing to assume. The real problem is Health Insurance. Here in Colombia, while I am employed, I have excellent coverage. If I got to Canada, I have piss-poor access to Health Care (compared to here) and that's after a three-month waiting period.

I am not assuming the worst, but I'm not prepared to ignore what is a very real possibility either. Allow me to play out the possibilities as I see them. Maybe I am missing something.

1) I stay in Colombia, with my present employer. I have health insurance and the peace of mind that comes with it, and I will enjoy my work even though I don't really want to live here anymore. The work is good. The everything else is not, really. If I get sick again, I'm covered, and the only problem is that my family would have to go through the drama of coming down here to care for me again.

2) I give my notice in December and plan to go home to Canada in July. If I get sick between December and July I am treated here until my contract ends when my insurance presumably also ends, and I am fucked. Being sent home at this point doesn't do me any good because I have no insurance there either, and who knows if I would be in any condition to travel anyway.

3) I give my notice in December and go home to Canada in July. If I get sick before the three-month waiting period has passed, I am fucked. And unemployed.

4) I give my notice in December and try to find a job somewhere else in Colombia, on the condition that my health insurance policy is transferable. (Is that even possible??) The only thing is, there is no way to know if this will actually be an improvement.

I realize that I cannot make all my life decisions based on whether or not I will relapse. But it seems absurd to me to risk losing my access to health coverage at this particular point in time. (And please, please don't say it will be fine!!)

Obviously I don't have the money to pay for this kind of care out of my pocket, and while my parents have said they will help if it comes to that, I'm simply not willing to allow them to bankrupt themselves to pay for something that I could be getting basically for free if I make the right choice.

Help?

Love and Friendship

Today is Love and Friendship day in Colombia. This is their version of St. Valentine's Day - a highly commercialized extravaganza of hearts and streamers and sweets, except that it encompasses friendship and all varieties of love rather than limiting itself to the romantic version.

With no personal experience to guide me, I can't comment on the degree of pressure to perform or provide within romantic relationships in the form of grand gestures and/or gifts, but I did see a number of highly agitated men running around the grocery store this evening with bouquets of flowers, looking as though they wished they had been organized and sensible enough purchase something for their wife/girlfriend/lover/mother earlier on in the day.

How Colombian couples, families and friends manage this day will likely always remain a mystery to me, but I can tell you we celebrate at school, and believe me, we are steeped in love there.

Our 'theme' at school this year is Put a Little Love in Your Heart, and perhaps surprisingly my thoughts on this do not run toward the cynical, at least not where the students are concerned. I do love my students, and I'm allowed, even expected, to show it. If I did not allow a child to hug me, for example, people would probably blame my gringa-ness and forgive me, but I suspect it would be considered a flaw. (I once had a parent accuse me of not loving her son enough, though in her world complete permissiveness and lack of boundaries = love...so I suppose by her standards I didn't love him...)

We celebrated on Thursday by wearing Love and Friendship colours and getting the kids all hopped up on sugar. I want to say that it was fun, but mostly it was exhausting. I think it's easier to 'love' 18 children at once when we're following the standard routine.

(in our love and friendship non-uniform gear)




(outside a 3rd grade classroom - too much love? Haha)

Chiva time

This is a chiva:

It is a modified sort of bus which was traditionally used in rural areas to transport people and their belongings, and they are still used in this capacity in many areas. The streets of Manizales, however, is not one of them. To me, chiva means bus on which one is allowed and even encouraged to consume vast quantities of rum while listening to live music and yelling at strangers on the street.

Though I would like to make clear that I prefer to leave the yelling bit to others.

The chiva above was actually the vehicle which hosted our annual staff Chiva Night two years ago, shortly after my arrival to Colombia. It was a very successful night out.

(On the chiva with my friend and roommate during my first year in Colombia)

This year's event was, for me at least, a more sedate affair. We boarded the chiva and were given liquor, in the form of a rum-box. Think: juice box, but more powerful.

The band actually rides in the bus with us, playing two different types of drums, a clarinet, and a shaker-type-deal. Though I could not tell you what this type of music is called, I can provide a little sample:

The Colombians seemed familiar with all of the songs and sang along, but it was a little tricker for the 'gingos'. I was fortunate enough to have the words of one of these songs translated for me...That mound is lovely. I will give you anything to climb the mound..please say yes, tell me yes... But peppy, and with drums!

We travelled ever-so-slowly from one end of the city to another, and at one point the chiva pulled over and the party spilled out onto the sidewalk for awhile, so the Colombians could get their groove on. I ate a lollipop.

The band's abrupt return to the bus signalled that the tour was to resume, so we boarded as well and meandered in the direction of the club where the second part of the party was to take place.

As with many of the events that take place here though, I felt more of an observer than an active participant. This was fine arrangement on the bus, but was less enjoyable inside a nightclub at 9:30pm, so I bailed and got a good rest in preparation for my new exercise classes Saturday mornings - dance and tone - woohoo!

Personal Harassment, er...Training

I had my first appointment with my personal trainer yesterday after school. $100.00 for eight sessions this month - I reckon this is a worthwhile investment, and if it goes well I can carry on next month.

It is HARD. This is what I'm paying him for, of course; to work me until the world goes blurry and I have to lay down while he goes to fetch "aguita" and quietly prays to the god of chubby gringas that I will recover without any drama. Which I did.

After the sweat-fest on the elliptical trainer, we moved on to The Machines. I have (in the relatively distant past) been acquainted with weight-training apparatus before, though I don't recall the machines having had quite so many levers and safety switches. I pushed, pulled and squeezed for half an hour, and was set free.

Everything hurts, which is good, and I'm going back for more this afternoon. We're supposed to be talking about goals, and choosing 'target areas'. Ha. I would have assumed that the answer to this would be fairly obvious: Yes, I want to lose weight in my...ankles.

If I have enough energy, I'm supposed to be going on a Chiva Tour tonight, but more on that later...

It's just a birthday...

Me: ____, when is your birthday?

Sweet Little Boy: 2003!

Me: Yes, but what month were you born in?

Sweet Little Boy: 2003!

Me: Yes, that is the year you were born. But what month? Mes? Month?

Sweet Little Boy: Ju.....

Me: June? July?

Sweet Little Boy: Yes!

Me: But which one is it?

Sweet Little Boy: Either is fine.

Me: No....you were only born once. Do you know which month you were born in?

Sweet Little Boy: ... ... ...

Me: Here, take this note to the office and ask the secretary to write your birthday down for you.

January. That sort of sounds like Ju.....

Three Good and a Bad

Sorry sorry sorry.

I haven't renounced technology, become a hermit, or relapsed. It's just...that thing, that our mothers taught us, you know: if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all, well, it's hard to overcome this brand of intense programming, so I've been keeping my mouth shut.

But now, I am once again prepared to say things 'nice'.

Nice Thing Number One: I had a visit with my doctor in Medellin yesterday. The importance of this cannot be understated. My test results were great. I am now 1/10 of the way towards being 'cured'. (Five years without relapse = cured.) Also worth noting is the fact that I happily travelled over five hours each way in a crowded and sweltering van to sit with this doctor for half an hour and talk about all kinds of things, most of which were not related to my health. It was totally worth it. I shall leave you to your own conclusions regarding what this implies.

Nice Thing Number Two: I have joined a gym, and am reminded three to four times a week how good it feels to be doing exercise again. Except on Sunday mornings. The gym is in a shopping mall, and one side of the gym is actually an open space which looks down into a food court. Sunday mornings they clear out the tables and install a priest with an offensively loud stereo system, blasting Jesus crap powerful enough to drown out the sound coming from my generations-old mp3 player. At the time I had a little chuckle because really what is more offensive - Eminem ranting about some guy looking for a slut of f**k in his hummer truck, or...being force-fed Christian rock music? Tough call. So no more Sunday mornings and sweating for Jesus.

Nice Thing Number Three: Book Club! When I took this job two years ago, a major factor influencing my decision to accept was that my boss told me that we would have a book club. I think this was more influential than the promise of mountainous country-side or ample prep-time. The club itself did not materialize until this year, and we had our first meeting last weekend. The book we read was not spectacular, but meeting with others to talk about it was. Nerdy, maybe, but very satisfying.

Nice Thing Number Four: Erm.... nope. There is no number four. But since I said three nice things, does that buy me one not nice thing without being accused of rampant negativity? I am getting tired of this place. It has been cold and raining a lot, which wouldn't be a huge problem if my moods weren't somehow directly connected to the weather. I am already counting down the sleeps until the Christmas Holiday so I can go see my family. Did I really get better only to be able to spend the vast majority of my free time in almost complete isolation? What the hell was the point of that? So clearly, this area needs some fixing.

Something else to consider; in my class right now we are learning the Five Ws. Who, What, When, Where, Why...The boss will be looking for decisions regarding contract renewal before Christmas, so all of these questions must be applied to my own life in a rather serious way in the near future. (And we mustn't forget 'How', which despite its contrary nature in not beginning with the correct consonant, is perhaps the most important questions to consider...) I am overwhelmed by the enormity of these questions, so for now I am mostly ignoring them. We'll see how long I can keep that up.