Level 3: Identify and Eliminate

I reckon it's a bit like a video game, this getting rid of bugs business. You have to beat a series of increasingly difficult 'levels'.

I never had much patience for video games.

Level One, as I suspect is often the case, was a bit of a gimme. The dozy flying beetle-bug things which took over my apartment briefly in the spring sort of disappeared of their own accord. Since they didn't bite we passed our co-habitation in relative harmony, though I can't say that I was sorry to see them go.

Level Two I defeated only two months ago. Flea bites were fairly easy to identify, and you've already had an account of my victory. It was a tedious process, but not particularly difficult.

Level Three is presenting a whole new series of challenges. First of all, what the hell causes bites like these??

I haven't seen a single bug, yet my body is covered with these itchy welts, neck to toes. Preliminary Internet investigation suggests that these are bedbug bites, but when I went to get the appropriate spray to begin the notoriously difficult process of getting rid of bedbugs, I discovered that nobody here is really familiar with this particular bicho, and there are no toxic chemicals especially geared toward its demise.

Sooooo....I am sleeping on the couch, and still suffering the occasional hit. By Level Ten I swear I will be fighting off pterodactyls, a spray can of EXTERMIN in each hand.

I am considering an alternate strategy this round though - evasive action. It looks like I will be moving to a new apartment, and my plan is to leave all the flying, crawling, bloodsucking critters behind.

Let the new owners enjoy their company. Ha. Suckers.