I've Left Canada and I Can't Get back!

Alright, so I'm not lying on my back in the bathroom crushed under the weight of my own walker, but when it comes to Decision Time, I feel almost as helpless as that little old lady in the LifeCall Commercial. (Please say you remember those adverts!)

For the literal minded, I concede that there is nothing physically preventing me from moving back to Canada. I could go, but just because a plane will take me there doesn't mean the move is a logical and financially viable idea. Since I've thought of almost nothing else for the last few weeks, I feel fully prepared to outline my arguments, however after careful consideration I have decided that a visual representation will be more effective.

If I move to Canada, this is more or less how I imagine things will look:

Now...in case for some reason you can't decipher what's going on here, I will break it down for you in a way that doesn't require my spending another hour pissing around on Gliffy.

CONS

• I live in a box
• This is because I have no job, and therefore no income
• The box is a mess because I have no cleaning lady
• The box is also a mess because I have no job so I just stay at home and make more messes
• I am alone in the box because I don't know anyone except my sister and her boyfriend, who are both at work...also, they can't stand the mess
• My parents pay the rent and the bills because I have no job
• So I'm 31, poor, and still dependent on my (kind, generous, amazing) parents who, while they love me, are frustrated because I won't just take a job as someones secretary "to tide myself over" though I'm pretty sure I'm not even qualified to do that

PROS

• I don't have to go to work every day! 

Ha ha. Okay, the real pros:

• Not far from the box are several members of my immediate and extended family
• I have a bathtub
• Stick-me doesn't have to wear eighteen layers to keep warm inside the box 

Of course it is possible that I am exaggerating the difficulty in finding employment as a teacher in B.C. This article doesn't seem to think the situation is so dire, as long as you are a specialized teacher or are willing to relocate to the sticks...which I'm not.

Now, I know you were looking forward to seeing my Stay-in-Manizales illustration, but circumstances have prevented me from creating one. Here is a Manizales CON for your consideration: it hasn't stopped raining here in weeks. The weather report says the daily high is around 16 - 18 degrees, but they mean for the 10-minute period every morning when the sun deigns to put in an appearance. Lows are 10 - 12 degrees, sometimes colder at night, and may I please remind you that heating of the air to keep people comfortable does not really exist as a concept here. Just put on another sweater. Or, if you are me, crawl into bed at 7:00pm and refuse to get out (or to draw any more pictures) - on principle. It's just too bloody cold to do anything, end of story, and it's hard to think of anything nice to say when I can't feel my nose.

So the staying arguments will have to wait. Not for too long though - Decision Day is the 13th of December. I am certain only of one thing: when I left Canada five years ago, I had no idea it would be this complicated to get back.