My dad says you can't be a vegan if you don't eat vegetables

Yeah, that's right. Mostly, I think vegetables taste horrible. I've been improving (some might say 'maturing') over the years, adding to my vegetable repertoire of...potatoes. Frankly speaking, I wasn't great about fruit, either. The hospital food in Colombia was abysmal, though I suspect this is an international phenomenon. After the first two months and a severe bout of TPN and morphine-accompanied colitis, I simply refused to eat and had to rely on Nutren, a liquid food supplement the hospital provided. Outside of the hospital, meat didn't look any better, so I mostly survived on French Toast. It's a wonder I got better at all, no?

But I'm making up for it now. I've got a bulletin board in my apartment which I've converted into a sort of 'vision' board - motivational images and words, relating to things I want to accomplish. The first two things to go up there were a picture of a carrot and a picture of a cucumber.

And this is where the juicer takes up its heroic role in my healthy lifestyle adventure. See, vegetables don't taste good, but neither does hard liquor. And goodness knows I've consumed enough of that liquid in the past without too much difficulty. SO - make the vegetables into a liquid and I can shoot, er, drink their nutrition-y goodness without all the drama that will inevitably result from the traditional chew, chew, chew, swallow method of vegetable consumption.

(I anticipate this will only be a transitional measure, until my taste buds get on board with the new regime.)

My parents and I did try out the new toy last night. We juiced an apple, and then some carrots. I was surprised at how sweet and, dare I say - tasty - the carrot juice was.

Today I will venture into public for lunch with my parents. My first meal out as a vegan, and we're going to my favourite pizza place. Is there such a thing as pizza salad?

Food fairy

After writing last, I went to bed satisfied and motivated. While I slept, a vegan fairy came and collected all of the naughty food from the house and hauled it off in a big sack, like a reverse Santa Clause for food. So when I went down to the kitchen and looked around in the morning there was nothing there that caused me to think you look oh-so-tasty, but I can't eat you anymore!

Well, maybe not. But it would have been nice.

Instead, I went downstairs and saw a cake. And the rest of the leftovers. That damn cake was out on the counter though, in plain view, all day. So I stared at it while I prepared my lunch, a recipe from the new cookbook I picked up at the health food store. I skipped over Delectable Daikon, Belgian Endive Attraction, and Marinated Arame Delight and opted for a recipe with a less irritating name and which had only one ingredient I didn't recognize. (This actually comprised 25% of the recipe though, as it only had four ingredients.)

Tamari. I hoped it was a flavour-packed item, as the other three ingredients were very simple. A brief Google session left me with the impression that tamari is more or less fancy soya sauce. An easy substitute, thank goodness.

Bleh.

Should you ever decide to make kale-garlic-olive oil-soya sauce soup, here are my suggested alterations to the recipe: add vegetable stock! If you don't have any (I didn't) add salt! And herbs! I threw in copious quantities of cumin, fresh ground pepper, red onion and half a can of navy beans as well. Muuuuuuuuuuuch better.

The rest of the day went well, and thank you very much to all of you who wrote me lovely supportive little messages, even if you are secretly thinking that I am crazy.

I haven't decided on today's menu yet. I think this will be easier once I am back at my own place in Colombia, where I can be my own food fairy. The day I left, I invited my maid to take home anything she wanted from the cupboard so I can start fresh when I get back, and I think they might have just opened an organic grocery store not too far from my apartment. This week though, its all about smart choices and discipline.

But at least that cake is all gone...

Happy 30th

Today was my birthday. I ate cake.

It was one of those Safeway cakes with the sugary icing on top that's so sweet it tickles your throat when you swallow, and I cut myself a corner piece with a flower on top to enhance the effect.

The last time I enjoyed cake this much I was a kid, when I would dig in without dedicating a single thought to calories or health, and I would enjoy the delicious tingling of the icing as it dissolved on my tongue without being distracted by worries about money, or work, or relationships, and it was bliss. Tonight's cake was like that. Childhood innocence on a fork. *sigh* I had two helpings.

There were moments when I thought I wouldn't see this day. I recall thinking after a particularly unpleasant visit to the "special care" unit in October, there is no way my body can take another 3 months of this. But it did. And I don't know - maybe I could survive whatever treatment would be required if I should relapse, but I'm not really keen to find out.

So tonight's cake was not only a birthday cake, it was also a goodbye cake. Goodbye to cake. And all of its refined carbohydrate cousins, and dairy product pals. And while I'm at it, goodbye to meat (including seafood), processed foods, and all added sugars and fats. I will do whatever it takes to make myself well. Mind and body (and spirit? We'll see about that one...)

THE PLAN: a whole-foods, plant-based diet, to be complimented by yoga, meditation, therapy, and whatever other healthy practises I pick up on the way...

The other side of cancer, the other side of 30, I will be a healthier person. This is not a diet. It's an entire lifestyle makeover. Not surprisingly, the most common responses to The Plan so far are, a) that's really extreme; and b) that's going to be really hard!

Of course, they're right. And like many other people, I am an expert excuse generator, and also tend toward laziness and lack of self-discipline where this sort of thing is concerned. It would not have been unusual for me in the past to talk about doing something to improve my diet and health in general, and maybe even do it for a week, and then slip back into old patterns.

The thing is, I just can't afford to do that this time. It has to stick. Fear is a strong motivator, and that will keep me going for awhile, no doubt. But I need to make a commitment I can't back out of when the going gets tough, which of course it will. That's where this blog comes in. I think sharing the experience will help me stick to it. Nobody wants to write (or read) a blog about failing at something, right?

The adventure starts tomorrow. Wish me luck :-)